


Inherently Neutral

by afire



Category: All For the Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Canon deviation, Coffeeshop AU, Friends to Lovers, Multi, Slow Burn, i did not expect to write this but it happened, so slow please help, sort of
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-20
Updated: 2017-03-08
Packaged: 2018-08-09 22:20:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7819474
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/afire/pseuds/afire
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which there is Exy, drunken conversations, lots of flowers, and of course, two girls who just might get their happy ending.</p><p>(or: allison and renee find each other in the most unorthodox of ways and somehow make it work)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. One

It’s raining. Allison only realizes when she looks up from her laptop in search of her coffee cup. The windows of the little shop she’s sitting in are fogged up, and if she squints, she can spot silhouettes of people hurrying back and forth along the street, the spaces between them punctuated with headlights from passing cars.

She stares resolutely at her laptop as she takes a sip of her coffee, wincing when she realizes it’s gone cold. The little digital clock in the bottom right corner of her screen tells her that she’s been working on this essay for the past two and a half hours, and Allison decides that she’s done enough for today. The deadline for this assignment isn’t for another week and she’s almost finished it, there isn’t any harm in taking a break and maybe getting another cup of coffee.

Allison hits the save button and is just about to shut her laptop when she hears a muffled thump from behind her and before she can react, there’s a waterfall of what appears to be some form of tea splashing onto the keyboard. Later, she will remember that it hit the spacebar first and wonder why _that_ of all things, is what she noticed, but now she shrieks and hurtles to her feet, grabbing her laptop and turning it upside down like all the tea will magically fall out and nothing bad would have happened.

“Oh god, I’m so sorry.”

Allison sits back down and plonks her laptop on the seat next to her, frantically hitting control, alternate and delete because for all her prowess she really has no idea how to make sure everything is alright.

“Sorry doesn’t fix anything,” she shoots back scathingly, movements growing more erratic when the screen doesn’t fizzle back to life. “ _Sorry_ doesn’t give me my five thousand word essay back, _sorry_ doesn’t magically bring my thousand dollar laptop back to life.”

There’s the sound of shuffling behind her and Allison gives up on her laptop, half-slamming the lid down with a decisive click and standing up, spinning around with a hand on her cocked hip and one raised eyebrow, completely not in the mood to hear whatever explanation she’s going to be fed.

Here is what Allison expected: a long list of reasons why she shouldn’t be compensated for her laptop and her essay.

Here is what she got: not that.

Allison falters, just for a second, as she takes in what she’s looking at. The girl standing in front of her is wearing a floral sundress, and she’s completed the look with wedge sandals and a sunhat. The fashionista in Allison is dying to ask where the dress is from, but every other part of her is frantically squashing it down because _now is not the time_. The girl is on her phone, and she flashes Allison an apologetic smile that softens her features even more, waving a hand at the mess on the table.

“I have a friend who can fix computers, but if it’s fried I can pa- Matt? Hi, can you come down to the Foxtrot? No, I haven’t seen Dan. What? No, not yet. Yes, okay so can you-”

Allison tunes out of the conversation shortly after the girl offers to pay. Really, she’s been forgiven already, because Allison is pretty sure her essay is backed up somewhere, and it’s not as if she can’t afford a new laptop. All the same, it would be nice if this one could be salvaged, she thinks she has a couple of new songs downloaded onto it that she hasn’t dragged into iTunes yet.

The girl finishes up her phone call and turns back to Allison, grimacing when she catches sight of the damaged laptop and the mess of tea on the floor.

“I’m really sorry, Matt’s coming down now to see if he can fix it, he’s really good with laptops and computers and all that. I could help you rewrite your essay? I’m sure your professor will give you an extension considering none of this was your fault at all, and I’ll pay for a replacement laptop of co-”

Allison cuts her off with a laugh, waving her hand through the air, “It’s fine, no, really. I’m pretty sure that essay is backed up somewhere, too. And you don’t have to buy me a replacement, I’ll just lie my way into getting a new one since the warranty doesn’t cover water damage, and if that doesn’t work I’ll just guilt them into giving me the latest model for half-price.”

The girl looks unconvinced, and she’s twisting her fingers together, clearing fighting some form of internal battle. Allison sighs and reaches out for the empty tea cup that she’s abandoned on the table, lifting it up and jerking her head in the direction of the counter.

“Come on, I’ll buy you another cup of tea. I need more coffee anyway.”

That snaps her out of her funk, and her eyes widen even as she makes a grab for the cup, which Allison holds out of reach. “Oh no, I can’t let you do that! I probably already owe you a thousand dollars, I’ll buy you the coffee.”

“If that’ll make you happy, then sure,” Allison says, starting to walk toward the counter and twisting around to see if the girl is following her. “I’m Allison, by the way.”

“Renee.”

And that’s how it begins.

 

**&.**

 

Renee, as it turns out, knows quite a lot of people. There’s Matt Boyd, who managed to fix Allison’s laptop after he stopped by and waved away the cash she tried to give him, saying she shouldn't be paying him, anyway. Shortly after that she realizes that the girl she partnered up with in her sociology elective, Dan Wilds, is his girlfriend. Renee invites her along to one of their group hangs, promising to introduce her to everyone else, and Allison accepts only because she looks so hopeful. That’s the reason why, three days later, she’s standing in front of her closet and trying to decide what’s appropriate attire to wear to a ‘group hang’.

Are they going clubbing? To a party? For a midnight picnic? It’s not that Allison is short of options, it’s that whatever she puts on needs to be perfect. Materialistic or not, Allison Reynolds always looks good.

She’s just about to reach for her phone to text Renee a question about what usually happens at group hangs when it pings from the pocket of her hoodie. It’s Renee telling her to bring something warm to put on since it’s going to be cold tonight. Allison deduces that they’ll be outdoors and more than likely doing something physical, so she slides the drawer filled with high heels closed, instead turning her attention to her flats.

In the end, she leaves the house clad in skinny jeans and a snug sweatshirt, shrugging on her new winter coat over the ensemble. It’s from Chanel’s winter collection and comes with a matching pair of earmuffs. Allison has them on as well, seeing as she can just about see her breath condensing in the air in front of her. Her feet are encased in a comfortable pair of ballet flats, and she smiles when she sees Matt pulling up into her driveway as she locks her door.

Dan is sitting shotgun, so Allison slides into the back next to Renee, grinning at her in greeting before rubbing her hands together and exhaling on them.

“I told you it’d be cold.”

Allison almost rolls her eyes but settles for stuffing her hands into the pocket of her coat, “I’ll warm up soon, just you wait."

That’s a lie. Allison has always been more of a spring person, but she’s not about to admit that in front of her new friends. Matt cranks the heater up, and Dan starts a conversation filled with names Allison doesn’t recognise. She settles for leaning against the seat and listening as her friends talk, keeping track of where they’re going in case she needs to come home herself later.

You can never be too prepared, after all.

 

**&.**

 

For some unfathomable reason, they end up in a park about four streets and half a dozen blocks away from Allison’s apartment. Matt pulls into a parking spot and pulls the lever that opens the trunk, scurrying to the back of his car with Dan at his heels while Renee ushers Allison toward the big field on the south side of the park. If she squints, Allison swears she can make out little figures running about.

“What are we doing?”

Renee smiles and for a moment she looks like a quiet predator, but it passes, and Allison blinks twice to regain her balance, which is the reason why she almost startles when Renee links arms with her.

“You’ll see,” Renee says mysteriously, slowing down when they get closer to the field and waving at the figures- boys, actually, one of which is jogging toward them.

“Hey! Where’s Matt? Kevin is getting antsy.”

“He and Dan are coming. Nicky this is Allison,” Renee turns toward her and gestures toward the boy, “Allison, this is Nicky Hemmick.”

The boy- Nicky, frowns, “Why does she get my last name but I don’t get hers?”

Allison picks this moment to cut in, stepping forward so she’s standing level with Renee and starring Nicky down, despite the height difference. “I’m special, it’s nice to meet you Nicky Hemmick.”

Nicky laughs, a loud, full sound, and he turns back to Renee, “I like her.”

Renee starts to say something but they’re interrupted by Dan and Matt, who have caught up with what looks to be a trolley full of lacrosse equipment.

“Hey Nicky, sorry we’re late,” Matt says, swinging the trolley around with one arm and starting to jog in the direction of the others. Nicky follows him and his reply is swallowed into the night.

Dan starts after them, but turns back toward Allison and Renee, “Come on, if we make them wait any longer we’ll have to bury a body tonight.”

Renee laughs while Allison frowns, trying to discern if Dan is joking. She decides she’s better off not knowing and follows the two girls toward the field, wondering what she’s gotten herself into this time.

 

**&.**

 

Murder Lacrosse, that’s what this is, or at least, that’s what Allison is calling it in her head. Apparently it’s been christened Exy, and it’s a sport that Renee and her friends have made up. Never having been much of a sporty person, Allison doesn’t really recognise which rules have been changed and which ones have been added, but it’s pretty clear from the get-go that all the body checking that’s going on isn’t legal in normal lacrosse.

“Does it look fun?”

Renee is standing next to her, eyes tracking the ball as it flies back and forth between the players. Allison turns back toward the field, doing a mental check of what’s going on so that she won’t say the completely wrong thing. Fake it ‘til you make it. No one’s going to know she’s clueless if she doesn’t openly admit to it.

“Honestly? It looks like you could get killed playing.”

Renee laughs, and Allison smiles, something warm blooming in her stomach. She pushes it down and files it in the back of her head to think about later. She frowns once she’s done counting the players, hoping that this isn’t a stupid question to ask. It seems logical, anyway. “Why’s there one more player on Nicky’s team?”

“Kevin counts as two,” Renee answers, pointing toward the boy in question. Right now he’s hightailing it up the field, and after seven steps takes a running jump. The ball slams into his racquet right at the apex of his leap before rocketing into the giant slab of cardboard they’ve set up behind the goal. There’s a matching slab at the other end of the field, in front of which Nicky is dancing from foot to foot, trying to keep warm.

“Nicky doesn’t normally play as a goalkeeper, but he’s always been the most versatile out of the lot of us,” Renee continues, as if Kevin didn’t just do something that’s probably considered physically impossible. Right now, though, standing at the edge of a park at ten at night next to a pretty girl while watching a bunch of people play a made-up sport, Allison feels very far from reality.

“Do you play?”

Renee turns to look at her, and Allison can’t quite decipher the expression on her face, it’s halfway between amused and affronted, and suddenly Allison feels guilty for doing absolutely nothing wrong, not that she knows of, anyway. They stare at each other for a fraction of a second more before Nicky stumbles over, holding his racquet out to Renee.

“I’m done, I’m dead, goalkeeping is not for me.”

Renee accepts the racquet with a soft smile, tossing a casual, “I thought strikers weren’t supposed to tire easily,” over her shoulder before making her way to the end of the field, taking up position in front of the giant piece of cardboard.

Allison looks at Nicky, who’s collapsed onto the grass next to her feet, and raises an eyebrow at him. “Hard life, huh?”

Nicky gives her the finger without looking up and she laughs, adjusting her stance so that she’s angled half toward him and half toward the game. Allison is just about to make another comment when Nicky looks up, pushing his sweaty hair out of his eyes.

“Watch,” he says, pointing toward the field, “I don’t normally play as a goalkeeper, but Renee does. The game’s just beginning.”

Allison twists back and spots the ball hurtling toward Renee, she’s just about to yell out a warning when Renee moves, her racquet slicing through the air. The ball rebounds against it with a solid thunk and it’s scooped up by Kevin, who wastes no time in bringing it back up the field toward the other goal.

“Oh,” she breathes, and when Allison looks down, Nicky is smiling.

 

**&.**

 

Matt jogs up to them after fifteen more minutes of vicious back and forth on the field, brandishing his racquet while trying to catch his breath. Allison waits for Nicky to take it, and is confused when he doesn’t move, instead shooting her a confused look when Matt shakes the racquet up and down impatiently.

“What?”

“Take it and go play,” Nicky says nonchalantly, leaning back on his elbows.

Allison is confused but she takes the racquet, balancing it in her right hand as Matt falls to the ground next to Nicky, making a wild grab for one of the water bottles in the pile next to the equipment.

“I don’t know how,” she says, and it’s true, even though she’s been here for about half an hour and watching the game as intensely as possible. It looks like lacrosse, but the positions are different and it’s obvious that there have been some modifications and additions to the existing rules.

“It doesn't matter, just do what feels comfortable,” Matt says, shrugging as he takes another swig of his bottle, “Exy is less of a sport and more of a game.”

Allison is just about to tell him that she really doesn’t know the difference between a sport and a game when she hears someone calling her name. It’s Renee, and everyone else has stopped, obviously needing one more player before they can continue. Neither Nicky or Matt seem to want to get up so she sighs and starts jogging toward them, hoping that Exy is easy to pick up.

She falls into position behind Dan and another boy, where Matt had been spending a majority of the half hour. Allison still doesn’t know what’s going on, and the ball is flying up and down the court too quickly for her to comprehend.

Dan shouts out names for her as bodies whiz past. The boy on their team is Neil, and right now the ball is in his possession. Two seconds is all it takes for that to change as someone takes a running leap and slams into him, leaving the ball to roll across the ground for Kevin to pick up. That someone is Aaron, she finds out, and he gets up, dusting himself off and running after Kevin without checking to see if Neil is okay.

Allison turns back toward him, but Neil is already on his feet, flying down the field toward her and shouting something she can’t hear. Kevin runs past her but he’s stopped by Dan, who stick-checks him and sends the ball rocketing toward Neil. Aaron intercepts and spins around on one foot before barreling toward Allison.

She’s standing right in front of the goal and Aaron takes the shot, flinging the ball at her with what seems to be all the strength in his five foot body. Before her mind has time to catch up with what’s happening, her body is reacting. Allison spins to the left out of the ball’s trajectory, and she does the first thing she can think of: hit the ball as hard as possible with her racquet, not unlike a batter vying for a homerun.

There’s a loud pop, and the ball flies back up the field, right into Neil’s racquet. The boy in question sprints for the goal and hurls the ball at the left corner of the cardboard slab. Renee reaches for it, but she’s just a second too late, and the subsequent thump of ball hitting cardboard echoes through the night.

Allison is still in a state of shock, partly because she’s not dead and partly because her racquet had actually connected with the ball. Briefly she acknowledges that Nicky is whooping from somewhere behind her, and Matt is yelling something as well, but then Dan is laughing and wrapping an arm around her shoulder, and she looks up to see the boys scrutinising her, as if she’s not what they expected her to be.

Of course, Allison is never what anyone expects her to be. Picture perfect princess with the expensive car and pretty nails, she’s spent her entire life being underestimated by everyone she’s come across. Her parents are another story, but she doesn’t want to think about them right now, not when Renee is smiling at her from the other end of the field and she’s surrounded by people who are maybe starting to believe that she’s capable of something.

Allison hefts the racquet over her shoulder and gets back into position, rolling her eyes when Nicky yells, “I thought you didn’t know how to play!”

She doesn’t, but Allison gets the feeling she’s going to learn.


	2. Two

Allison has known Renee for a grand total of three weeks. In those three weeks the rules of Exy have been viciously pummeled into her head by all of her other new friends, seeing as it dominated about half of any given conversation. Renee was, by nature, a soft-spoken person, but Allison quickly realized that this didn’t mean she was excluded from all the talk. It didn’t come as a surprise to her that everyone else would quiet down when she had something to say, it was something Allison found herself doing as well.

It’s somewhere between morning and afternoon, but it’s Sunday, and Sundays have this lazy, summer-like quality to them, the way you felt when you were sixteen and fresh out of school for the year, when days and weeks and months all melt into identifiable softness. Allison hasn’t felt that way in a long time, but sitting here on her couch with Renee just a few feet away, hair pulled into a messy bun, the pastel rainbow ends poking out and a look of quiet concentration on her face as she taps away at her laptop, Allison feels like she’s sixteen again. Sixteen and vulnerable. Sixteen and-

No.

No, now isn’t the time. It’s never the time but especially not now, not here in her safe space and next to a new friend. Allison refuses to break down, refuses to let herself turn into that small, scared sixteen year old again. She’s older now, goddamnit, halfway through her first year in college and substantially more in control of her emotions. She is no longer the sixteen year old girl who had to be woken on the morning of her birthday by a phone call from the hospital, an apologetic nurse saying hers was the only number they could find

She is no longer that girl, will never be that girl ever again. Allison Reynolds has jumped that hurdle in her life, it’s behind her, she’s done with it, and she’ll never again let someone have that much of an effect on her. It’s exhausting, keeping all her companions at arm’s length, but she’s used to it now, the lies about having other plans coming easily, a smile sliding into place. She’s strong enough on her own and she doesn't need anyone el-

“Allison?”

She jumps, accidentally drawing a line straight through her notes in bright, fluorescent yellow. Allison looks up to find Renee peering at her and smiles as she recaps her highlighter. “What’s up?”

Renee looks like she’s struggling to find the right words to say, but then she just lifts a shoulder, eyes impossibly warm and honest in the sunlight that’s filtering it’s way through the windows. “Nothing, you just seemed a little lost there.”

“Just remembering something,” Allison replies casually, as if it isn’t important. She’s perfected this art, the mask sliding into place with a click as she chases the memories away. It gets easier and easier to lie everyday, especially about something she doesn’t want to think about, anyway.

“Happens to the best of us,” Renee says, and Allison frowns at the tone of her voice, finding it familiar but unable to pinpoint exactly what it is. She forgets about it until four pages of notes and one cup of tea later, halfway through highlighting a topic sentence when she realizes that Renee had been using the exact same tone she was, when she nonchalantly said she was just remembering something. Allison just hadn’t recognized it coming from someone else. 

 

**&.**

 

“So we were thinking about going down to the paintball arena this weekend.”

It’s Wednesday, and Allison is squashed into one corner of the library, the wall on her left and Renee on her right. The rest of the group is scattered around the table, Matt and Dan sharing the armchair closest to the door while everyone else spreads out along the benches. On Renee’s right is Andrew, and to his right is Neil. Kevin, Aaron and Nicky are half on the table and half on the bench, as if they can’t decide where they want to sit. Allison is waiting for the librarian to walk over to tell them off, has been waiting for the past half hour. It’s not that she wants her friends to get into trouble, it’s just that she loves drama, no matter how small. 

Neil is frowning, “Paintball?”

Matt leans forward in his chair to point an accusing finger at him, “Don’t tell me you’ve never heard of paintball.”

“Of course I have! I’m just, not sure about the, uh, logistics.”

Allison can pinpoint the exact moment in which Renee decides to save him from further embarrassment. She leans forward a little, sliding her hands forward on her lap and cocks her head at Neil, subtly daring anyone else to comment while she explains. No one does.

“Paintball is a sport where people shoot at each other with balls of paint, everyone gets protective gear and a safety briefing so people rarely get hurt, it’s just a harmless bit of fun.” 

Neil still looks unconvinced, but Andrew stands suddenly, stuffing his hands into his pockets and making his way to the door. “Saturday, eleven in the morning,” he says, before disappearing out the glass doors and into the sunlight. Neil follows him wordlessly, offering the rest of them an apologetic shrug before breezing out. Allison thinks, with his physique and general energy, Neil could thoroughly wipe the floor with them at paintball. 

Kevin, Aaron and Nicky follow Neil and Andrew soon after, leaving Matt, Dan, Renee and Allison sitting in the library. 

“So,” Dan is saying, “do you guys want to get breakfast together on Saturday before heading over to the arena?”

Matt agrees readily, and Renee nods along as well. They all turn to Allison, waiting for an answer. She’s confused, not expecting the invitation to extend to her as well. The question must show on her face because Renee smiles that half-smile she has when she feels like laughing but is trying not to.

“Of course you’re invited,” she says in her smooth, soft voice, and for a moment Allison forgets that they’re sitting in the college library, for a moment Allison just wants to lean forward and-

What?

What does she want to do?

There’s a churning in her gut that she can’t attribute to having eaten something bad since she hasn’t eaten since breakfast that morning, and all she had was a banana.

Dan reaches forward to punch her lightly on the shoulder and Allison snaps out of it, trying to cover her momentary lapse of concentration with a cough. “Why’d you think you weren’t invited?” Dan is frowning at her, brows twisted like it’s a question she can’t answer for herself.

Maybe Allison has spent too long in her little hole of safety, going to classes and making acquaintances for group projects and once in awhile accepting the odd invitation to lunch. She hasn’t allowed herself to really make friends in a long time. Renee had changed that with a misstep and an overturned cup of tea. Allison doesn’t know what to make of that so she simply stares at Dan, not knowing how to put into words what she’s feeling, the thrilling hum of being part of a group of people offset by the fact that Allison still doesn’t really  _ know _ any of them.

Matt looks as confused as Dan does, and he crosses his arms over his broad chest before speaking. “You’re one of us now, we always do things together,” he says, and oh.

_ Oh. _

This must be what it feels like, to have a steady group of people who you can count on, for casual invitations to automatically include her. Allison hasn’t had that in a long time, not after she walked away from it all when she graduated high school. Being a legal adult didn’t change any of her bad habits, maybe being a social recluse is genetic, she definitely stood the chance to inherit some of that. 

Renee is still looking at her, in that simultaneously soft yet intense way of hers, and Allison feels something warm blooming in her stomach when she smiles back, letting herself be gentle for once.

“Okay, I’ll go to breakfast with you.”

She’s talking to them all as a group, but somehow it feels like her and Renee are the only two people in the room.

 

**&.**

 

It’s Saturday morning before she has a chance to blink, and once again Allison finds herself standing in front of her wardrobe, mentally putting outfits together. At least she knows what they’re going to do now, and hell if she’s going to be wearing skinny jeans to a paintball session. 

In the end she settles for leggings and an old tee with the words ‘raise boys and girls the same way’ emblazoned across the front. Allison hesitates for a moment with her shoes, then decides that since she’s going to get covered in paint anyway, she might as well wear an old pair. Out of the back of her closet come her old trainers, dusty with misuse, though no worse for wear than since the last time she put them on. Allison sits on her bed to slide her shoes on, grinning when she sees that they still fit.

Renee is waiting for her at the curb when she goes downstairs, and Allison’s heart starts to do a gymnastics routine at the sight of her, adorable and beautiful at the same time in a striped tee and a pair of old overalls that already have paint stained over them. 

“Hello, Allison."

“Hey.”

They stare at each other without moving, and Allison would swear one or the other or both of them start to step forward, but the moment is interrupted by Matt pulling up to the curb with a welcoming honk. Renee looks down for a fraction of a second, sunlight reflecting off her face and revealing the barest hints of a smile, but then she’s getting into the car and Allison has no choice but to follow, shutting the door with a definite click behind her.

The radio is on today, and Matt sings along, loudly and off-key. Dan laughs but joins him for the chorus, her smooth alto blending with his bass, and Allison can’t help but laugh, too, because suddenly the car is alive, and she feels more awake than ever.

A glance to the right tells her that Renee has her head against the window, but every so often her eyes flicker over to where Allison is sitting. Allison turns fully to her right and widens her eyes comically when Matt belts out the chorus, one too many octaves above his voice range, and Renee laughs, covering her mouth with a hand because it’s rude to laugh at your friends, no matter what. Allison feels the steady thrum of satisfaction in her belly, glad that she was able to trigger a positive reaction in Renee.

They pull into a parking spot outside the old 90s style diner a couple of blocks away from campus. It’s half past nine in the morning, and they have plenty of time to get something to eat before making the thirty minute drive to the paintball arena just outside of town.

Allison ends up squashed against the wall again, but she doesn’t really have any complaints, not when Renee slides into the booth next to her while Matt and Dan take the seats opposite them. 

“Can I just have a milkshake?” Allison isn’t really that hungry, and considering she’ll probably be thwacked in the gut with half a dozen paintballs later that morning, she really doesn’t want to have a full stomach going in.

Matt is nodding while he decides on what to get, muttering to Dan about the combo menu and something about using the coupons he has. Allison is just starting the internal debate between chocolate and vanilla when Renee pipes up, quiet voice indignant. “You can’t just have a milkshake, breakfast is important, you have to eat healthy.”

Allison, who’s been caught off-guard, takes a few seconds to catch up to the conversation. “I  _ do _ eat healthy, I usually eat a banana and yoghurt.” That’s healthy, right? She’s pretty sure fruit and calcium are both super healthy.

There’s no swaying Renee though, apparently. “You can have your milkshake but we’re splitting a stack of pancakes.”

Allison blinks twice, unsure how to reply to that, and Renee is snowballing on, “Blueberry or chocolate chip?”

“Uh, blueberry?”

Renee beams at her; it’s obviously the right choice. Allison tries not to think about why that’s so important to her.

 

**&.**

 

The safety briefing takes twenty minutes and Allison half-listens, sure that everything is common sense. Don’t shoot at the head or someone’s dick, got it. They get released into the arena for a free-for-all, no one bothering to make teams or think of a game to play. Allison prefers it this way, survival of the fittest, only having to look out for your own back. She thrives in these kinds of situations, today’s game should be fun.

After the first half an hour Allison has managed to get Matt, Neil, and Nicky, but only because Matt is so big he can barely hide behind the walls, and Nicky is so loud he’s literally begging to be shot at. Neil had only gotten shot because he stumbled upon Allison while she squatted under an overhang and she had pressed the trigger in surprise, grinning when an explosion of blue spread over Neil’s chest.

She leaves him there to recuperate and army crawls toward the next overhang, looking both ways like a child waiting to cross the street. There’s the sound of a gun firing and Matt’s indignant yell. Allison rolls her eyes and smiles, imagining the look of exasperation on his face. Matt might be amazing at Exy but his sheer size just doesn’t excel at paintball. 

Allison sees the flash of blond hair out of the corner of her eye and she whirls around, dropping into a squat and getting ready to press the trigger. It’s Aaron, and he looks like he’s about to make a sprint for the middle, where a small ball is sitting. The prize for getting to it without getting shot is all your money back, and considering Allison hardly needs that, she hasn’t considered going for it. 

She lowers her gun, interested to see if he makes it, and if he doesn’t, then Allison will be able to find out where someone else is hiding by following the trajectory of the shot. Aaron looks left, then right, then takes a deep breath before speeding toward the centre. He gets halfway there when three shots ring out simultaneously, coming from three different directions, all on the opposite end of the arena from Allison. Aaron takes a dive, sliding across the floor, and for a second it looks like he’s managed to dodge them all, but the third one clips him over the shoulder and sprays yellow everywhere.

Aaron gets up and flips someone off, Allison can’t tell who it is but she can hear Nicky’s laugh from where she’s stationed, and she has to stifle a chuckle herself. Allison is just about to edge along the edge of the arena to make her way to the opposite side when someone crashes into her right. She brings her gun up immediately, wincing at the yelp that escapes her mouth.

It’s Renee, and she brings one finger up to her lips in a shushing motion. Allison swallows her question and nods, accepting the silent truce. They backtrack into the safety of the overhang, and Allison is glad she’s found this spot. It’s right behind a wall and lets her see if anyone is coming, and it’s even better now that Renee is here.

Speaking of-

They’re standing quite close, which is normal in paintball because you want to be less of a target, but Allison is crowded against the wall with Renee in front of her and she can feel the rhythmic beating of two hearts, instead of just one. 

There’s the sound of someone getting shot in the background but Allison feels six years old again, with a seashell to her ear, the roar of the ocean drowning everything else out. Renee exhales on her collarbone and Allison tries not to shiver, gripping her gun so hard that her hands shake with the effort. 

“Allison.”

She shifts a little, acutely aware of the height difference between the both of them. Allison closes her eyes for two seconds before meeting Renee’s, breath stuttering when Renee says her name again, this time softer, a breath of air that condenses against her lips.

“I- yeah?”

Renee leans in a miniscule amount before pausing, as if checking if Allison is okay with this before continuing. Allison is definitely okay with this, one hundred percent, she did the whole gay panic thing in high school, she’s over that. When Allison doesn’t move away, Renee continues to lean in, and they’re almost there, breath ghosting over each other’s lips. Allison is just deciding that she really likes the anticipation of a kiss, but she likes the kiss itself a lot more when someone slides into view, their gun raised.

Allison’s body responds, as it always does, before her mind can catch up. She’s leaning forward, kissing the corner of Renee’s mouth along the way as she raises her own gun, firing over Renee’s shoulder at whoever was just about to shoot them.

It turns out to be Matt, and he groans so loudly that he immediately gets shot twice. Allison has to smile when he just falls to his knees and lifts his hands up to the sky in silent question. 

Renee is still pressed up against her, and Allison doesn’t know whether she should step away or just stay here and wait for whatever happens next. Renee answers that question for her when she drops her gun to wrap her arms around Allison for a hug. Allison’s fingers go slack and her gun falls to the floor as well, landing with a soft clatter before she instinctively wraps her arms around Renee’s neck to hug back.

They stay like that for what feels like a small eternity, but Allison still feels like she needs more time when the buzzer goes to signal the end of their session. Renee releases her, scooping up her gun from the floor and grinning wide at Allison before making her way to the exit, falling into step next to Dan as she chews Matt out for being so shit at paintball.

“Allison, we have to leave before they charge us for overtime.”

She glances up to see Nicky, beckoning her with one hand while the other supports his gun. “Yeah, sure, of course,” she says, hurriedly picking up her gun and bringing up the rear, stopping to make sure they haven’t left anyone behind.

When they get into the back of Matt’s car so he can drive them back to the dorm, Renee’s fingers brush hers, and Allison’s breath hitches. Dan glances back, brows furrowed in worry, and Renee’s hand is back on her lap, the girl herself looking casually out the window. 

Allison glances to the right, meeting Renee’s eyes through the reflection on the window. They smile, and for one fleeting second, Allison thinks Renee’s gaze darts down to her lips, but then the moment is over and they spend the rest of the car ride back in silence.

She senses this isn’t all they have to say about what happened, but Allison is willing to wait. Patience, as they say, is a virtue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello!!! it's been a solid week can u fucking believe it i'm actually being logical for once in my goddamn life, pls don't expect too much of me i am but a smol, if you wanna hmu you can send me an ask @triwiizard on tumblr but other than that!!! have a good week!!! i'll see you soon, maybe


	3. Three

“Spring break is next week.”

They’re all sprawled underneath a large oak tree, waiting for the afternoon sun to fade a little before setting up the court for a little Exy. Matt has his head propped on one hand as he leans on his elbow, squinting at the group because he chose to sit facing the sun.

“Is that the entire sentence or is there a follow-up?”

Matt swats at Nicky, who dodges with a grin and rolls over onto his back, crossing his arms over his chest and closing his eyes.

“As I was saying before Nicky so rudely interrupted, it’s spring break next week, do you guys have any plans?”

Allison’s plans extend as far as sitting in her apartment and getting all her work done, then going shopping to get a new wardrobe for the summer. Some people outfit-repeat, Allison ‘would rather be caught dead than wearing the same dress twice’ Reynolds is not one of them.

“We’ll be in Columbia for a while, but after that there’s nothing.”

Andrew looks like he wants to disagree but Neil is leaning against him with his eyes closed and Allison can see him struggle internally before deciding not to say anything.

Both Dan and Renee have no plans, and Matt turns to Allison, brow raised in expectation.

“Uh, I was going to finish up my work and then go shopping,” she says, shrugging. It wouldn’t take long, actually, to cross both items off her to-do list. Maybe she should start investing in more of a social life. People tend to avoid her because she seems like someone who would be a bitch, and they aren’t wrong by any means but she can be nice as well, in her own way.

Matt claps his hands together once, grinning around at everyone, “Let’s go somewhere.”

“That’s a little scary and a lot vague,” Nicky chimes in, eyes still closed. He chuckles and Matt thumps him on the shoulder, rolling over onto this stomach and resting his head on his arms. “No, but really, go where? For what?”

Matt shrugs, leaning back against the trunk of the oak, “Anywhere. My truck can fit all of us if some sit in the back, let’s just start driving and see where it takes us.”

Allison’s a little apprehensive of the flippant nature of this trip, but only because she usually plans her outings down to the minute, not leaving the house until she knows where she’s going to stay and when she’s going to get there. Maybe this is a sign that she needs to relax a little.

“I’m up for it,” Nicky says, grinning. “Neil?”

Neil looks up, running a hand over his eyes before blinking blearily. “Will we get to play Exy?”

Matt rolls his eyes and opens his mouth to answer but Dan cuts him off, probably for the better, because Andrew is levelling a stare at them. “Yeah we can bring the equipment and cardboard, we’ll play if we get the chance.”

Neil closes his eyes, relaxing against Andrew again, the other boy shifting so they’re both comfortable. “Sure, why not?”

That seems to cement the whole thing. If Matt’s going then so is Dan, and Neil agreeing seems to mean that the twins and Kevin are tagging along as well. Matt turns to Renee, raising an eyebrow. Allison lets her gaze slide over to the other girl as well, trying to seem disinterested when in reality she’s very interested.

Renee considers it for a few seconds before smiling softly, and Allison knows what she’s going to say before she says it. “Alright.”

Matt grins before he turns to Allison, raising the same eyebrow in the same way. Allison allows herself a grudging smile, “As long as we don’t have to sleep in the truck,” she says, and Matt punches a fist into the air, narrowly missing a knot in the tree next to his head.

“Great! I’ll text you guys when we’re leaving after they,” he gestures to Nicky, “come back from Columbia. Pack enough for a couple days, I’m sure we can squeeze the bags somewhere.”

Allison doesn’t know how she gets herself into these situations but she has a feeling it’s going to be fun so she doesn’t complain. A little road trip wouldn’t hurt anyone.

 

**&.**

 

Allison procrastinates packing until the last minute, that is to say she just received Matt’s text with instructions to be ready in half an hour, and she hasn’t started at all. How many days is she supposed to pack for again? Whatever, she’s Allison Reynolds, she’ll survive and look good while doing so.

She’s just contemplating whether or not to bring along nail polish, in case the car breaks down and she gets bored, when a beep sounds from outside her window. She stuffs two bottles into the front pocket of her bag, deciding that if nothing else, she can give herself a manicure if there’s a lack of sights to see and things to do.

Matt’s truck is full, which means two things. One of which is that Allison is the last one to get picked up, the other is she has no idea how she’s going to fit her bag in with the others. Dan and Nicky are squashed into the front seat with Matt sitting behind the wheel, and the rest of them are in the back, the spaces between them filled with bags and other stray items.

Neil hops out of the back to help Allison up and she nods gratefully at him when he takes her bag out of her hands and manages to find a spot for it among all the other stuff. She grips onto the side of the truck for leverage, lifting one sneaker-clad foot into the little dent on the bottom and pulling herself up, watching as Neil swings the gate shut so none of them (or their stuff) will fall out while they’re going at 50 miles an hour down the interstate.

Allison picks her way to the back where there’s a spot opposite Renee and settles down, rearranging her limbs so she’ll be comfortable for what will possibly be the next two hours. Neil and Andrew are sitting right at the edge, their feet tangled together in the middle, with Kevin and Aaron in the next row up. Allison turns her gaze back to Renee, grinning when she finds the girl smiling at her, deciding that maybe the nail polish in her bag could be enough for two people.

“Are we just going to be out for the rest of spring break?”

Renee’s eyes flicker to the front seat, where Matt is singing along, loudly and off-key, to a trashy pop song, then to Andrew and Neil, subtly glaring at each other while holding hands fiercely before she turns back to Allison, smiling softly in a way that introduces a swarm of butterflies into Allison’s gut. “I think that’s the plan, yes.”

The wind is messing up the hair she painstakingly (though it probably seems effortless) styled this morning, but right now, sitting in the back of a truck with people she’s come to refer to as her friends, Allison couldn’t care less, especially since Renee is looking at her with equal parts amusement and something else that she can’t quite name but can’t quite say she doesn’t like.

Matt seems to be taking his previous words to heart, because none of them have maps or GPS apps open, and they’re flying down an interstate that Allison doesn’t recognize, probably because Matt took about six weird turns and then performed an elaborate u-turn which put them back on the exact same freeway they exited a couple of minutes ago.

“Have you guys ever done this before?” Allison asks, leaning forward so her voice doesn’t get carried away by the wind and Nicky’s loud, obnoxious singing.

Renee gets the message pretty quickly and leans forwards as well, except now their faces are inches apart and Allison hadn’t planned for this at all, taking a moment to compose herself before paying attention to what Renee is saying.

“-but never like this, it’s never been this elaborate and … free I suppose, we’ve always had maps before, and a destination in mind.”

“Are you looking forward to this?”

Renee tilts her head to the side, and Allison wonders, for a split second, whether this was the wrong question to ask, but then she’s smiling, eyes flickering down to where their legs are crossed over each other, and Allison’s Nike sneakers are resting gently on top of her own pink Adidas ones. “Very much so.”

 

**&.**

 

They make a pitstop at the next BP because the tank is a little less than half full and Matt doesn’t want to risk it, but also because Kevin is getting antsy and everyone can tell. The truck rumbles to a stop and Matt jumps out, walking over to the pump while Nicky dances around to stretch his legs.

Allison jumps off the side of the truck so she doesn’t have to wait for Neil and Andrew, who are both still sitting on the edge and staring at each other, to put aside their teen angst for just a second so everyone can exit the vehicle. She dusts her hands off and turns back around, instinctively reaching out to help Renee, who’s balanced on the side.

Renee grips onto both her hands and drops down, landing in a shock of dust and with a gentle thump. “Thanks,” she says, and Allison smiles at her for a moment before realizing they’re still holding hands in the middle of a BP, looking like the stars of an indie lesbian music video. Not that she’d mind being the star of one, she’d probably make it ten times better.

“Hungry?” Allison asks, mostly to divert attention as she drops Renee’s hands to gesture vaguely at the BP store, assuming there’ll be something decent to eat inside. She’s pretty sure the next stop will be for the night and they won’t be passing anymore truck stops, which means no diners and no hot food, so they better load up here before moving on.

Renee stuffs her hands in her jacket pockets, “A little, but I will be later. Let’s get food for the road,” she says, mirroring Allison’s thoughts.

Neil and Andrew are still locked in their weird staring contest, and Aaron is leaning against the truck next to Kevin, who seems to be doing his Exy stretches. Allison decides those four are a lost cause before turning to Matt, who is still standing by the pump. “Hey, Matt! What do you want for dinner?”

Matt looks up, wrinkling his nose for a moment before yelling back, “Gatorade and fries!”

Allison gives him a thumbs up, turning back to Renee and, in a moment of pure bravery, links their arms together before walking toward the store. Renee doesn’t resist, pressing her side against Allison’s so their hips are bumping, raising her other hand to wave at Dan who’s already inside, paying for the gas.

“We’re shopping for dinner,” is the first thing Allison says when she walks through the sliding doors, letting her eyes roam over the shelves for something vaguely healthy but also filling. The only thing she sees are those tiny boxes of salads and hell if she’s going to buy seven of those just to be full. Looks like she’s living off chips and energy drinks tonight.

Renee wanders down the aisles, humming to herself as she looks at their options. Allison follows closely behind, making a pitstop at the fridge to grab an armful of Gatorade bottles and deciding that they can fight to the death over the flavours, she’s not going around asking what people want. Incidentally, she knows Renee likes raspberry, but if anyone asks, the red drink she picked up before closing the fridge door is an absolute coincidence.

“Hold on, we’re loading up for the road,” she tells the cashier, depositing the drinks at the counter and smiling at Dan before spinning around and locating Renee by the bags of chips, walking over to stand next to her as she scrutinizes a pack of barbecue.

“Does it matter what flavours we get?” Allison asks, frowning at the salt and vinegar ones as Renee picks up a pack of sweet chilli.

“Probably not, we’ll just get one of everything and a couple more just in case,” she says, picking up three more packs and smiling softly at Allison before turning and making her way to the counter. It’s all Allison can do not to stand there for the next hour staring into empty space, instead she picks up a few packs of her own and hopes to god it isn’t repeat flavours.

 

**&.**

 

The moment they get back on the road, Nicky rips open the first bag of chips he can find and starts scoffing it down. Allison watches as Dan punches him in the shoulder, yelling something about not talking with his mouth full. The rest of them in the back are passing two more packets around, and Allison tosses a couple bottles of Gatorade at Neil and Kevin, because she still doesn’t know what to make of the twins and doesn’t want to run the risk of accidentally hitting one of them in the head.

Allison dips her hand into the barbecue chips, turning back to Renee, surprised to see that the other girl is already looking at her, though she does turn away after a moment.

“Do you know where we’re going?” Allison asks after a while, noting that Neil has fallen asleep and Andrew is staring unblinkingly at the top of his head.

“Not really,” Renee says, humming thoughtfully as she glances toward their surroundings, “I’ve never been this far away from campus before,” she adds, her tone dipping like there’s something that’s been left unsaid. Allison knows too much about that, so she skillfully evades it, instead passing Renee a bottle of raspberry Gatorade and swiftly changing the subject.

“I’ve always just flown to where I want to go, can’t say I’ve ever been on an actual road trip,” Allison says casually, popping two more chips into her mouth as she eyes the horizon, deciding that they probably have another hour or so before the sun starts to set and they had better find somewhere to stay because hell if she’s going to sleep in the back of a truck overnight. “Actually, this might be the first road trip I’ve ever been on,” she continues thoughtfully.

When she looks up Renee is smiling at her and she finds herself smiling back out of instinct, passing the bag of chips over and picking up her own bottle of Gatorade. “What?”

“Nothing,” Renee says, holding the bag but making no move to eat any of the chips,”it’s nice that your first road trip is with us.”

Allison quirks an eyebrow, but she doesn’t say anything, because Matt is driving into the sunset and there’s something soft in the air that she can’t quite put her finger on.

And, maybe it’s just her, but coming from Renee, ‘us’ sounds very much like ‘me’.

 

**&.**

 

Nicky finds a motel while scrolling through Google Maps and they pull into a gravel parking lot fifteen minutes later. Matt cuts the engine before jumping out, following Dan into the motel, presumably to work out rooms, and leaving the rest of them to wake up in slow increments.

Allison blinks blearily, rubbing at her eyes and frowning when her hand knocks against her half-drunk bottle of Gatorade, taking a while to adjust to her surroundings and wondering why she isn’t in her dorm room for a hot second before remembering where she is and why she’s here.

In front of her Renee is still sleeping, her Gatorade sitting between her knees and the half-eaten bag of chips scrunched up in a loose fist. It’s well and truly night now, and the moon is pouring silver light onto the lot they’re parked in, and it’s not that Allison hasn’t noticed before, but Renee’s hair positively glows, her pastel tips almost neon in the inky darkness of night.

She jerks to the left when someone taps her on the shoulder, narrowing her eyes at whoever startled her. It’s Aaron, the rest of them are already off the truck bed and he jerks his thumb over his shoulder before jumping off himself.

Allison leans forward, shaking Renee gently by the shoulders, “Hey, Dan’s getting us rooms, it’ll be more comfortable to sleep in an actual bed.”

Renee wakes slowly, and Allison knows the rest of them have gone into the motel already, but she sits patiently as the girl opposite her stretches and yawns, almost flinging the bag of chips over the edge of the truck bed and onto the ground in the process. Allison lurches forward instinctively to catch it and they end up both clutching insanely at the same bag of chips.

She lets go immediately, leaning back with a crooked grin, “Sorry, we have to go in, though.”

Renee laughs lowly, picking up her bottle of Gatorade before standing and swaying a little, probably because she still hasn’t fully woken up, which in turn leads Allison to jump out and reach out a hand to steady her.

“Woah there.” She says, tugging the Gatorade bottle out of Renee’s hands and crossing to the end of the trunk, easing herself down before Renee can protest. “Come here,” Allison continues, reaching up a hand which Renee takes with something of a smile dancing on her face, jumping down onto the gravel with a soft crunch.

“Thanks,” she says, and Allison passes the Gatorade back with a smile.

“No problem.”

She doesn’t realize that Renee landed the jump surprisingly well for someone who was still only half-awake until they reach the motel doors, but resolutely cuts that train of thought before it can finish its circuit.

 

**&.**

 

They’ve got two rooms, and everyone else has already worked out who’s sleeping where, so Allison ends up in the one with the queen bed with Renee and Dan. The boys are left to fight over who has to sleep in the two twin beds and pullout couch they have.

Dan’s made the executive decision to shower in the morning and she’s claimed the left side of the bed when Allison exits the bathroom, drying her hair with one of the provided towels. It’s a little scratchy and somewhat small but she’s making it work.

Renee’s standing by the window and looking out toward the sky, she turns when Allison approaches, smiling gently, “Hey,” she says softly, and Allison knows she doesn’t want to wake Dan.

“Shower’s all yours,” Allison says in reply, stepping to the side so the door to the bathroom is in view, which makes no sense in hindsight because she’s pretty sure Renee has wonderful object permanence. And then, because Renee makes no move to go take her shower, she adds, “Is it alright if I take the right side?”

“Of course,” Renee says finally, still smiling as she makes her way to her bag, which is sitting on the tiny armchair in the corner of the room.  
Allison isn’t asleep when Renee exits the shower, and she’s dimmed the lights just enough to be comfortable to fall asleep, so she watches with half-lidded eyes as her friend moves around the room, putting things back in her bag and generally straightening everything up.

Allison’s in that little moment right before falling asleep, though she’s well on her way there already, when Renee somehow maneuvers herself onto the bed without jostling either her or Dan, and then manages to lie down without further moving the mattress at all. Allison’s tired mind tries to riddle that out for a good two seconds before it gives up and she finally closes her eyes.

She thinks Renee might whisper goodnight, and tries to say it back, but she’s asleep before she can find the strength, the pastel tips of her friend’s hair the last thing she sees before slipping under.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M SORRY FOR FALLING OFF THE FACE OF THE EARTH HAVE THE UPDATE IDK WHEN THE NEXT ONE IS COMING OUT TALK TO ME ON MY [TUMBLR](taylorswift.co.vu)

**Author's Note:**

> i don't have an update schedule, no seriously it doesn't exist. you could get two parts in one day and then nothing else for a month, that's how i roll, if you wanna yell at me you can find me at my [tumblr](taylorswift.co.vu) :0) thank you to kiv!!! for beta-ing part one for me i say i hate you a lot but u kno im just joking ily lots


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